Sadly, I can't possibly capture how exquisitely fine F. Tennyson Jesse's A Pin to See The Peepshow is, though I'll put an excerpt from a late chapter here (spoiler warning!). I wept continuously for the final thirty pages or so of this book; what higher praise can I offer?
But the thing is, I love that a book can do this--especially a book I'd never heard of before, that I picked up some months ago because it was in the Virago Modern Classics series, and then put aside in a stack of other unread books, largely forgotten until I was looking for something new to read. That such an accidental book, originally published in 1934, can be so surprising and moving: that is the magic of literature. Of words. Of stories.
Always a pair of these women were with her, always the light burned in the cell, though she was allowed to tie a dark handkerchief over her eyes when she slept; for light had always waked Julia even more easily than noise. Always there was the offer of books, of milk, of bovril, of a walk--now she walked in a different garden from the first one, and alone, save for the officers; a garden from which she could see still more clearly the roofs of free and ordinary houses. She felt it would be something if she could just go back and walk as she had done before, with the other remand women, in the garden with the circular path and glass-houses; but now, in an irregularly shaped garden with a railing, she wandered aimlessly about and about, on a fine day.
There were beautiful pigeons that flew about and came down to strut over the earth beside her. They were free, fat and tame. They preened themselves and looked sharply this way and that, so that the light reflected from their beautiful iridescent necks. Julia would watch them walking about, pecking at the grass, eating the bread that she was encouraged to save up for them. She soon gave up this occupation because of the anguish that was hers when the pigeons, with a whirring of wings, rose into the air and were gone. The pigeons might go, but there was something that could not; and that was the view always before her eyes when she exercised--the roofs of houses quite close to her just beyond the prison wall. The roofs of real houses . . . the devilish cruelty of that glimpse of roofs. It oughtn't to be possible to see smoke coming up from the chimneys of homes. There were people in those houses, people who ate and slept and took baths and clothed themselves after their fancy, who went in and out as they chose, who were so used to seeing the prison as they looked out of their back windows that they thought nothing of it. They might have an increased interest now, as they looked at those grim walls and thought: Julia Starling is in there. She hasn't got much longer.
There were people there whose children went to school, whose husbands came home from work; people who made their laundry lists, who did their shopping, who went to the pictures. Oh, Christ! if only she could be one of them, she wouldn't want a lover, she wouldn't want anything but to go in and out of an ordinary house and do ordinary things.
Every day, when she waked, the roofs of the houses, and the thin spirals from their hearths, hurt her as nothing else hurt her. From the first moment in the morning when she was wakened at half-past six till the last moment at night when she tied the dark handkerchief over her eyes and tried to sleep, after the salty dose of bromide that helped her so little. The night would go in a succession of dozes and nightmares; of patches of bare, bald watchfulness. There would be the change of officers, the pint of tea, the porridge and bread and margarine. Did she want anything extra? Would she like jam, would she like marmalade, or an egg? Anything she wanted, that was the cry. She was allowed whisky and soda with her meals, as many cigarettes as she liked, and a sleeping-draught at night. She could have anything she wanted to nourish and soothe the body they were going to destroy. It was too absurd. Prayers in the chapel . . . nobody had to go to unless they wanted to, and Julia didn't want to.
--from pages 372 - 373 of A Pin to See The Peepshow
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Most evil of days but a cushiony life
It is, of course, the most evil day of the year, the day on which an hour has been cruelly stolen from us as we slept. My plan, I have told anyone who will listen, is to pretend it hasn’t happened and skip the hour between 4:00 and 5:00 on Monday afternoon instead. I’m pretty sure that the majority of my fellow Americans would be much happier to see that hour go, than to lose an hour of precious sleep. I just need to put the initiative paperwork together, once I’m a little better rested.
(With apologies to those who object to pictures of meals in the internet) |
Yesterday, however, I was more ambitious and while sitting
at the new bistro table for breakfast (crepes filled with Glendale Shepherd cheese and Mme Gradka's apricot jam) I gave some thought to cushions for the
chairs. This led to my pulling out the pile of fabric that I tend to buy on
impulse, cutting a pattern out of newspaper, and just being all sorts of March girl. I was particularly pleased about using some of the upholstery cloth purchased on last year’s West Seattle Yard Sale Day. It was also nice to have some justification for not throwing out old pillows as
I was able to repurpose the filling of one of those for cushioning. Possibly most pleasing of all was finding a spool of color-match minty-green thread in my mother's collection of thread. I’m not
saying that the resulting cushions are perfectly round, nor do I claim that they’re exactly identical
in size, but Mr Bear pronounces the effect both easy and fine.
Today I’ve planted potatoes and started some peas. It’s like
I pretend that some day winter will end.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
O'er-hasty posting (but pretty!)
Oh blahdeblahblah you old neglected thing, what can I say? There's no excuse for my treatment of you and yet, I hope to buy you off with a lovely bouquet with a hint of backstory.
The backstory is that Scott and I had a car today so we could pick up the chairs I'd purchased at the flower and garden show and also buy and shift a wheelbarrow home from True Value. (We may not own a sawsall yet, at least we now have a wheelbarrow. Okay, it needs to be assembled yet but still. And all.) Naturally since we had a car we went to the grocery store and there I somewhat pointedly, and very rudely since he had just purchased twenty tulips for me at the farmers market, called Scott's attention to some elegant flower arrangements they had in the case. "For future reference," I may have said.
Then we finished our errands and returned the car and eventually made our way back home for what remained of the afternoon. I remembered I'd left some blackberry vine in the alley during yesterday's fence project (oh! the exciting tales I could share if only I had more time and ambition) so I shifted the yard waste container to the back and one thing led to another as I spent some time ripping out buttercup and admiring thumbprints at the suet all the while my clever little brain working in its own mysterious ways. After moving the now quite heavy yard waste container to the front, I fetched the clippers and a basket and wandered about snipping what caught my eye and then I came inside, filled a vase with marbles and rock and set to work.
The result, I must say, is easily as elegant and fine as those $42 items at Metropolitan Market. And, of course is all organic and locally sourced.
The backstory is that Scott and I had a car today so we could pick up the chairs I'd purchased at the flower and garden show and also buy and shift a wheelbarrow home from True Value. (We may not own a sawsall yet, at least we now have a wheelbarrow. Okay, it needs to be assembled yet but still. And all.) Naturally since we had a car we went to the grocery store and there I somewhat pointedly, and very rudely since he had just purchased twenty tulips for me at the farmers market, called Scott's attention to some elegant flower arrangements they had in the case. "For future reference," I may have said.
Then we finished our errands and returned the car and eventually made our way back home for what remained of the afternoon. I remembered I'd left some blackberry vine in the alley during yesterday's fence project (oh! the exciting tales I could share if only I had more time and ambition) so I shifted the yard waste container to the back and one thing led to another as I spent some time ripping out buttercup and admiring thumbprints at the suet all the while my clever little brain working in its own mysterious ways. After moving the now quite heavy yard waste container to the front, I fetched the clippers and a basket and wandered about snipping what caught my eye and then I came inside, filled a vase with marbles and rock and set to work.
The result, I must say, is easily as elegant and fine as those $42 items at Metropolitan Market. And, of course is all organic and locally sourced.
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